Thursday, November 20, 2008

At the stair case looking up.

Imagine if you will your walking with a friend. This friend just happens to be in a wheel chair. You come to a flight of stairs. Do you bound up the stairs and look back expecting your friend to be right behind you? No of course you don't. You find a ramp for your friend. You would never expect the person to get up out of the wheel chair and walk up the stairs. Now I know it's not the same thing but depression is like this. Except it is not as understood as it should be. While people suffering from mental afflictions may not have physical troubles there are emotional stair cases we just can't walk up. Yet people think we should. When someone says "Why don't you just get over it." It irritates me. You wouldn't say "Just get out of you chair and walk up the stairs." to a handicapped person.

Now as I said I know there are differences. Don't try to extend my metaphor to far here. The point I'm getting at is that depression makes certain things difficult, sometimes impossible. I believe with time and work these problems can be overcome. But the key words in that sentence are time and work. If you have someone in your life suffering with depression don't abandon them at the bottom of a stair case. Give them some time, help them, give them a chance.

At least that's what I think.

5 comments:

from my eyes to yours said...

look at you. a fan base and everything. my friend i remember the stair case talk and you know me i probably would run up the staircase and tell you to just get up here. you and i, we suffer from two different types of depression. mine motivates me to change while yours historically has done the opposite. i have noticed a newness on your approach to life. it has not gone unseen. I'm proud of you my friend. it will be hard. it will be discouraging. it will seem as the very universe is plotting against you, but who cares. I'll see you at the top of the stairs.

something more than ordinary said...

Ah shucks, thanks. It's nice to know my efforts are being seen. I was worried that while I myself was making great strides others may not be able to recognize it.

I really appreciate your encouragment. When a person is stuck with something like depression which distorts their view of reality and makes the world seem worse than it may in fact be. It is such a relief when some one validates your efforts to make it better. It means so much, because a person dealing with reality distortions sometimes can't gauge wether or not their efforts are having any effects. Thank you once again and thank you for you comments, and your "I made it" post. Heres to "travling down that road and back again."

Katie said...

I think you've managed to take my thoughts right out of my head!

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. My last relationship ended because he couldn't understand or deal with my problems, and it makes me wonder whether it's possible for anyone who hasn't experienced it to understand. If it was me, I wouldn't leave someone struggling "at the bottom of the stairs", but then I know how hard it is to experience. I don't know to what extent I can really blame him for not being willing to stick around.

something more than ordinary said...

It is hard for people to understand when they have never gone through it themselves. We just need to have patience with them the same way we would hope they'd have patience with us.

I think it's also important to be working towards improvment. No matter how small that may be. Hopefully people will recognize these efforts and be supportive. If this a person isn't willing to be helpful then good riddance.

chelsea said...

these are my thoughts exactly. It's like being in an invisible to the rest of the world wheelchair. It's not like I enjoy being strapped into that thing! Drives me insane when people are so quick to assume that I can just "cheer up!"

It seems like half the reason it's so hard to make progress sometimes is because people don't want to give support to something they can't see. It's very frustrating. I wish people could come up with a better way to treat this. I think starting with validating that what we are experiencing is real whether they can see it or not. They being family and friends, doctors and therapists. Sorry this is a little disjointed of a comment- typing on phone / not so easy!