This is not a poem.

Do you know what I am protecting you from?
I hold back a darkness that could hurt you.
It hurts me for not letting it hurt you.
It's like magma looking for a weak point to erupt through.
I hold it back and can't help but feel offended that no one respects the dam I have built for their own protection.

Zoloft and Prozac

It has been a long time hasn't it. I didn't write because I felt like I'd be sounding like too much of a broken record.

Depression reared it's ugly head and I have stories to tell.

But for this post let me talk about Zoloft and Prozac.

They don't work. At least not for me. They work fine for the side effects. Nervousness, apprehension, dizziness, jitters, lack of sex drive, slight nausea. I hear over and over again how treatable depression is. I find that hard to believe. I resisted taking medication because I didn't like the idea of having my happiness dependant upon a pill. Then one day my sadness took a turn for the worse. I started writing my suicide letter. Instead of finishing it I broke down and asked my counselor for drugs. I'm not sure if I made the right decision.

I'm willing to give drugs a fair shot. Lets see what other anti-depressant cocktail they might come up with. Cursed hope keeps me going.

Now maybe Zoloft or Prozac will work for others, I encourage people to get whatever treatment they need. Be aware that like me, your path to hopeful recovery may not be a short one.