The fear one lives by.

So last night I had a little conversation with Uniblogger. The topic centered around my depression. Uniblogger told me things that others have told me before. He was aware of this. He suggested things that I had already figured out, he was also aware of this. He said that I was smart enough to know all this stuff. Then he asked why I hadn't even tried to change.

"Just deal with it." Was what it all boils down to. "You want to make something of your life then just do it."

All this I know. As to why I don't change and try and make my life better. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's inability, or laziness.

Uniblogger has not been the first to offer such advice. So I have herd this all before and I hate hearing it. Perhaps because I know it's true. Perhaps it is the solution to the problems I face. It doesn't change the fact that I hate to hear it. It hurts to hear it. And it doesn't seem to help. Maybe that's because I never really try. I keep waiting for some other solution. I keep thinking that there has to be a better way out of all this. I am also afraid that if I do make the big effort to change that it wont work. That I'll be stuck in the same old dark place.

So that's that. At least for now.